The Turducken Project

41 weeks, 10 hours, 47 minutes and 43 seconds until Turducken Day (November the 10^th)

The Story

The Plans

It started in the summer of 2003 as an idea Gregdale had from a recipe found on the internet. The turducken. A chicken, inside a duck, inside a turkey.

The idea was talked about but forgotten shortly after.

Fall: Neil and Dave decided the turducken should be made and actually started to put some plans in place for how it could work. Shane got giggly every time he thought of the concept of three animals cooked inside each other. Plans of funds started to unroll as Neil, Wilson and Shane went to Sobeys to look at the pricing of the ingredients.

"Ok, we need about a $45 turkey to fit a chicken AND a duck inside," said Neil, the brains of the operation, and they travelled to another Sobeys with more selection.

"Alright, so about a 10 kilogram turkey, a 3 kilogram duck, and a 1 kilogram chicken," Neil said, browsing the selection.

Shane calculated (poorly), "We'll need about $80 overall for this to work. We'll need maybe 16 or 17 people bringing $6 each."

One eve at Tim Horton's on Harvey Road: "Where's it going to be held?" pondered Shane aloud to the group.

"Well, it could be at my place," said Nails reluctantly.

"Are you willing to put a pan this big in your oven, and are you willing to have about 20 people over?" asked Neil.

Nails thought. "Perhaps not."

"Hutson's house is plenty big. I'll ask him," Shane decided.

And so he did. Plans were made to have it on Sunday, Novemeber the 9th, but there were clashes in plans, so the finalized date became Monday, November the 10th. The day before the Remembrance Day holiday, when there'd be no school. Hutson's house at said date was a go; the turducken Festival was the heat of discussion for the week.

The Preperation

On Saturday, November the 8th, 2003, ingredients were purchased for the turducken; Mitch, and B-Ho spent Sunday night at Hutson's house.

Early in the morn of November the 10th, Mitch, B-Ho and Hutson got to the preperations with Hutson documenting the process. Mitch de-boned the duck (named "Rupert"), with B-Ho's assistance. Shane, Hutson, and B-Ho hadn't had much luck finding a butcher to de-bone the turkey and chicken. The Ropewalk Lane Sobey's and Dominion both failed at providing a quialified/on duty butcher, so luckily after must haste and terrified internal screaming, at the new Sobey's (By Holy Heart) a butcher was found to de-bone the remaining birds. Much rejoicing was had. They then prepared the turducken; Hutson made the stuffing with B-Ho's and Mitch's help. They folded it and it was placed into the oven.

As time passed, B-Ho travelled about with the car getting extra ingredients and, eventually, guests arrived. Potato-leek soup was made by Hutson to satisfy hunger during the twelve hours the turducken cooked.

As guests came and went, people talked and joked.

"Banoub... is holding a pillow," said Shane.
"I am a pillow!" said Banoub.
"A pillow I have sex with!" said Shane as Hutson's father entered the room.

Chad had brought a CD with a thirty second Turducken Song burned 99 times, Hutson spiked B-Ho's coke with some pure peppermint extract, Gerald chugged a shot of the remaining peppermint extract, Banoub emitted sex waves, apetizers of goat cheese on crackers were served. The time of turducken was nearing.

The Feast

The crowd was getting restless. The turducken was removed and checked; it was declared cooked and people started to sit at the three tables placed together. We talked amongst ourselves until B-Ho walked out of the kitchen and asked who wanted to be the first to sample the hybrid. Dave flailed, and, of course, nobody can resist Dave's face. Meanwhile, Mitch was in the kitchen carving the turducken using "a carving knife, a big fucking fork, and a spoon, because the turducken fell apart when cut," so it could be prepared. B-Ho returned with the plate which now had sliced meat and mashed potatoes which B-Ho had made.

Several people wanted the next serving, so it was decided that two people would get served at once. Some had Hutson's soup; some had salad, care of a supermarket. Gravy was introduced and the feast was underway.

Several toasts were made. Notably, Mitch's:

"I would like to propose a toast!"
"We're done with the toasts!" Ivan interjected.
"Listen, I cooked the goddamn food that you're eating, and if I want to toast, then I'll toast, so you just shut your goddamn hole!"
"Good toast!" said Wilson.
"Here here!" several people exclaimed collectively before Mitch could continue.

After everybody had finished their meal, Toutons, damn good ones at that, were made by the master of Toutonry, Mitch. Shane was chased about the house because he didn't want to try any. He reluctantly took a bite and said it was quite good, like pancakes.

The End of Turducken Day 2003

After dishes and the kitchen were cleaned, the group socialized. Shane tried to dance with Chad by grabbing his groin from behind, causing Chad to hit his knee. People started to leave at around 23:00, starting with Ivan's car and Trevor's car.

Shane became hyperactive and started hyperactivating on people. He then decided that drinking Nestea was wise; the caffeine and sugar didn't calm him much. Mitch and B-Ho took a well deserved rest in the recliners.

At about midnight, Shane started to drive the remaining people home, thus bringing the night near a close.

The Future

November the 10th is now declared annual Turducken Day for a group of local teenagers that is sure to grow next year.

Top.

Designed and hosted by Wilson. Quagobbluck.